A Rambling Dream

Okay, so I found this song yesterday and probably listened to/watched the video about 15 times.

Super catchy, right? After that, and a lot of national final catching up, I go to bed. Here’s where it gets odd.

Normally I dream about batshit insane stuff. Like a high school that has one door into a huge arena right next to a normal classroom. Or about a missile that turns into a regenerating movie theater/hospital/community center. You get the picture. So the opening scene is me walking down a street next to a parking structure. Instead of cars or a ticket booth being at the entrance, there’s a group of people with a bunch of colorful posters. I approach the mass of people and it turns out to be my favorite Finnish pop-punk band (as well as band in general) MadCraft! And they’re auditioning new members for… something (I didn’t catch that). Anyway, I can’t sing or play any instruments but apparently I could here. So I tried out for my “position” and got it. Pretty generic now, right? Just wait.

The next act (yes I’m calling the dream segments that) has me waking up in a slightly messy, totally white room. It’s gig day and I’m under the impression that it’s at 19:00. Well, it’s at 17:30 and I’ve woken up at 16:45. So I pull myself together insanely quickly and make it to the venue. They are a little upset but nothing too major and we go onstage. At this point of the dream, I get my only clue about what I’m doing, since I’m singing in front of a microphone. Anyway, it goes pretty well and *cut*

For some reason, I’m now at my actual home doing dishes at the sink and talking to my mother about how I’ve been. She asks me about school and how nice it’s been and I answer in the affirmative. Apparently it’s my last night there and I’m leaving early in the morning or late that night, because her next line is “well don’t go to the golf courses in Finland.” WTF? I like Finland but I’ve never thought of school there. In fact, I’m already going to Santa Fe, NM for school. But it’s just a dream, whatever. Then something really strange happens. I blurt out some line about being in the band. Super matter of fact and out of left field.

Finally, I’m back in Finland, even though it looks more like Sweden in my unconscious head, and I’m riding on a highway with the band. There’s a warm feeling of happiness that envelops me before I wake up. However, that feeling crosses over to me and I wake up feeling uniquely satisfied.

The day continues normally when I decided to listen to “Rather Be” again. Even though I bought the single already, I really enjoy the video, so off to YouTube I went. If you haven’t watched the video already (I suggest you do), the story is that the Japanese girl starts seeing the band members all the time. A fun concept and good execution make for an overall satisfying clip.

Spooky right? Well, I thought about it all day before going to the restroom (no laughter). Then it hit me; I just had a dream about the future, my future, set to the story of a music video. Thinking about all the elements in a certain way just made it realization fall on my head like a sack of bricks.

I’ve always been a timid and obsessive person; if I couldn’t do it perfectly, there was no chance of me doing it. That makes my presence in a band, a musical entity, so weird, since I can’t sing at all, nor play any instruments. Well, I used to play the violin but I doubt MadCraft would ever do a single, featuring Clean Bandit *fantasizes, then faints* .

Also, I’m horrible with time management. Especially when it comes to waking up. So it’s unsurprising that this issue is brought up here. Unlike a lot of times in real life, though, this ends happily and without incident. And instead of sleeping through the event, I just woke up a bit too close to the time.

Then comes the revelation of my six-month band lifestyle to my mother, which would absolutely never happen in actuality. Hell, I’ve been a Eurovision fan for three years and haven’t told but two people about it. It stems from my childhood, since I never had any privacy. Today, I value that more than anything.

With that background information, let’s apply what happened in the dream to my actual life. I’ll be away from home in Santa Fe (hopefully also in Milan, but that’s further down the timeline) at an art school, doing things all by myself and taking risks when it comes to what I know about design. Each event in the dream represents an eventual step in the future. I’m going to have to learn how to draw (singing in the band), get to/do shit on time (waking up late), and getting more comfortable with my parents about stuff like Eurovision (the kitchen revelation).

My jaw was at my feet at this point. Finally, there’s the last scene, where I’m on the road dozing off. That represents some sort of success, right? It must, especially if it’s a tour bus. Well, the fact that the happiness in the dream transferred over to real life means that I’ll be okay. And after stressing about school, independence, relationships, and other assorted nonsense, that feeling of warmth and security couldn’t come at a better time. It took a crazy dream to tell myself that it’ll be okay, not only in general, but in the sense that I’ll succeed at what I love. And that was more valuable than any dream I’ve ever had. 🙂

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Posted in Eurovision, Random, Writings

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